I don’t really talk about Phi Mu Alpha that much. I don’t work really hard to recruit people, I don’t like to keep random folks in the loop about what we’re up to, and I try not to fan-boy the fraternity too much in public. I’m not saying that doing any of those things are wrong, they’re just not what I do.
I don’t like to recruit people. When I first joined band, I really had one band friend, and she was in a different section than me. I made friends with people I knew through her, but the first person I really branched out to meet was a pledge of Phi Mu Alpha. I never really understood his random meetings or why he had to dressed up. We were never really too close, but since he was a freshman he would take rides with me to parties and stuff whenever I would offer. Eventually, he became one of my best friends.
That Spring semester, I had been toying with the idea of coming out to interview for the fraternity. By that time, I knew most of the brothers, either through mutual friends or from band, and I genuinely liked all of them. I had asked my friend if I should try to get into Sinfonia, and he said he didn’t know. He left the decision entirely up to me, and tried not to sway my preference in either direction – only reminding me of the time constraint it would place on my semester (which honestly served to deter me from joining a little).
I was never “recruited” to join a fraternity. What drew me to Sinfonia was a longing for brotherhood. I had already consciously chosen the members as friends, and then I sought them out as brothers. I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
That’s why I never really like to try to persuade people to join Sinfonia. The chapter draws men to it that want to be a part, and if they’re accepted by the chapter, it’s a kind of mutual trust. Probationary members have always meant more to me when we don’t have to drag them out to interviews or coax them to fulfill their obligations.
In this way, the chapter both chooses its new brothers, but so does the probationary member. In my years as a part of this chapter, I have seen the brotherhood I wanted to be a part of, and I have also put through the brothers I would have in the future of the brotherhood.
On the Province level, though, everything is different. Meeting brothers from other schools is inherently hit or miss. I personally did not seek out the brothers from another chapter, just as they did not try to absorb me into their brotherhood.
I have a sibling brother, and my mother always told me that you don’t get to pick your family. That’s completely true for Phi Mu Alpha, as well. I didn’t choose the chapters in Province 39, and I didn’t choose what members they recruit, and they didn’t choose me or Epsilon Sigma, either… but I have yet to meet a fellow Sinfonian that I haven’t liked just the same.
I don’t recruit; I don’t choose anyone that doesn’t choose Sinfonia, first. You can’t pick your family.